I am not ...

married, I don't have a husband, i don't have a boyfriend, i don't have a girlfriend, i don't have any children, i'm from Ireland, yes it's cold there, but no it doesn't snow, no I R E L A N D not Iceland or Holland, or England, or Scotland or even Swaziland, yes they are different countries, no i don't want to go on your moto or your cyclo, i don't want to buy cigarettes, a lighter, crisps, chips, opium or pot, I am not interested in getting sunglasses or buying plastic jewelery and I don't believe that you made it yourself, i'm not hungry and i don't want bbq lobster or crab, or beer or water, or tissues, or lip balm, i don't need a taxi, i don't want to go back to Dalat and I have already been to the central highlands, I don't want a massage or to go to a mud bath, or a pedicure, manicure or facial, don't need bread, I don't want to talk about history, I know that you are poor and I feel bad about the fact that I have more spending money than you have to live on and yes I earn more in a month than you do in 18 months, but that's not my fault, I don't want to visit a waterfall or see another pagoda, I don't own a car, I don't want to hire a bicycle, or go on a boat trip, I don't want to visit your church or buy some donuts, I really just want to be left alone.

It's lovely here but the locals really need to learn to leave the tourists alone. If I wanted any of the above I would just ask. And really when I say no thank you it should be respected. But on the other hand, this place is great. The other day I was in Dalat and I was about to go to bed when I realised I needed to charge my albatros (phone), I had lost my charger (again), so I just walked out of the hotel aroud the corner into a little shop, the old lady looked at me, I pointed at my phone and made a plug in gesture and three minutes later I had a new Nokia charger, well at least I had a charger that had the word Nokia printed on it. The next morning I am in my room just farting about doing nothing watching football on the TV and the cleaning lady comes in, she askes "where you go next" I said I didn't know but I thought maybe Nha Trang, she booked my ticket and looked after all the details for me ... the cleaning lady. I think she may also have owned the hotel, I don't know. Anyway what I am saying is this place is easy and you can get anything you want at any place and at any time so long as you have the money to pay. It's just like Russia (neit).
I think i am like shark, if I don't keep moving I start to die ... from the moment that I set out on this journey of self indulgence I said that after Russia and China I wanted to find a beach in Vietnam and just chill for about a month, well after one day on the chair n the beach I was twittering around like Britney Spears after a meth binge. I just can't do it. I fool myself into thinking I can do the contemplitative thing and sit back and let profound thoughts cascade into my vacant brain, but all I do is feel jumpy and jittery and restless.