Sawadeeka

Every so often in life you meet someone that makes you really glad that you're you and not them. And I don't mean because of any medical or economic reason I mean because that person is bitter and twisted and ever so slightly deranged. Now don't get me wrong I have quite a liking for deranged people, they're fun, but the boyfriend of the lady who ran my hotel in Ayutthaya was a freak of unbelievable proportions. I can't remember his name, it began with a J. And he came from a State in the States that begins with M, but definitely not one of the New England states.

Now I had spent the day being driven around in a tuk tuk looking at the sights of Ayutthaya, and I have to say it's pretty impressive. It's sort of like what Angkor Wat would be like if they built a city around it. But it was very hot outside about 37 degrees so it was a case of snap snap ok go. And then my memory card announced that it was full, and the battery ran out in my camera so that was that. But I had spent about 3 hours and I was well impressed. And I have seen a lot of temples over the last 7 months and have visited one too many world heritage sites.

Ayuttaya is the ancient capital of thailand. Kinda like Kilkenny but nicer. Anyway apparently all was going swimmingly and then the Burmese, those of the shooting monks, came and sacked the city. I think that and a bit of dodgy architecture more or less raised it to the ground. Now the Thai King of the time, fought the Burmese invaders singlehandedly and from the top of his elephant killed the Burmese prince and sent them hitailing it back across the River Kwai. But at any rate his capital was in bits so he took all the valuable, executed some of his generals and moved to Bangkok.

They had these signs up at most of the temples, I found it mildly amusing because when I lived in Prague the Czechs did the same thing but would write the numbers out so that the tourists wouldn't know they were being ripped off.

So I walked up the desk, handed the lady 10baht and said, "I'm Thai." She looked at me and I stayed stony faced and then she cracked and said "Yeah and I'm a Frang, go on". I did it at the next temple and they made me hand over the additional 20baht, but it was still funny.

I went for lunch, had spicy chicken curry with lice. That's not a misspelling, that's how they pronounce it here. I logged onto the internet and noted that no-one not even my parents had sent me a message wishing me a happy St. Patrick's day. And it wasn't as if anyone around me was going to know that it was St. Patrick's day. And anyway I usually spend St. Patrick's day in my apartment sipping red wine, and reading. I hate Dublin on St. Patrick's day, only slightly less than I hate marmalade, coldplay and george bush. So I posted a moan on my facebook and headed back to my hotel, which by the way was a shit hole.

This is when I met whatever his name was from a state starting with the letter M. Do you like Thailand? he asked. Yeah, it's nice. I answered. I was still soar over the no Paddy's day thing. I fucking hate it he grumbled. So I asked why and he moaned that the Thais were dirty, inbred, stupid, violent people and that it was south east Asia's fault that the American family was disintegrating and US economy was in tatters. He said it all had something to do with the Vietnamese war. I told him the story about the me telling the lady I was Thai, and he screamed, fucking racist fuckers. Maybe he did have a point because if you put a sign up like that say in Dublin and an Asian person walked up and said that she was Irish, it wouldn't be questioned. But at the same time. You know that you are going to have to pay a white tax, you know that you are going to pay more than locals everywhere you go but hey I get paid more in a month than the normal family here makes in 3 years. But this guy seemed totally deranged. He said that he had developed his own philosophy, I asked if it was based on Pol Pot's little red book. He didn't even break a smile. I asked him who he thought would win the US election and he said he was going to abstain on the basis that the drug policies in the States had .... he lost me there. I finished my beer, wished him a happy saint paddy's day and told him he needed to chill out. Oh he also said that as far as he was concerned the Tibetians were a bunch of attention seeking trouble makers. You see he had been to Tibet and his Chinese government sponsored guide had enlightened him. Now he did all his bitching and complaining about Thailand and Asians while his Asian fiance was sitting next to him chopping water melons. And you know what the most racist thing I have heard since I started travelling, was when this dude said to me that he supposed he have to get drunk with me seeing and all how I was Irish and all. Now if that's not racial stereotyping I don't know what is? I think it's funny when Asian people make fun of my big eyes, or when they point at the big scars on my knees and ask what happened (they are really nosey here there was a guy from New Zealand on the train coming here and he kept glancing at the scars but never asked, it's just a cultural thing). I think it's really funny when they point and stare at me, or when they take photos of little blond kids in the same way that I take photos of Asian kids. There are things that I don't like about here, the pavements, the pestering by tuk tuk drivers and hawkers, the fact that the foreign policy of most of these countries stinks. But in general it's the things that makes it different that I like. But don't touch me, I'm Irish.

And if anyone can make out what they are trying to say here I would greatly appreciate a translation -

Oh and so I am leaving Thailand tomorrow, well starting my leaving Thailand because I have to take an overnight train to Butterworth in Malaysia, this is what the British foreign office says about this idea ... We advise against all but essential travel to, or through, the far southern provinces of Pattani, Yala, Narathiwat and Songkhla, where there is continuing violence due to insurgency and civil unrest. On 15 March 2008, there were two bomb attacks at the CS Pattani Hotel in Pattani. Two people were killed and 15 others injured.
Since January 2004, there have been almost daily attacks in the far south. These include arson, bombings and shootings. Targets have included civilians and members of the security forces, government office, tourist hotels, discotheques and bars, shops, marketplaces, supermarkets, schools, transport infrastructure and trains. Over 2,500 people have been killed and several thousand more injured. No British nationals have been killed in these attacks, but some other foreign nationals have been killed and injured.
There is a state of emergency in the provinces of Pattani, Yala and Narathiwat. Martial law remains in place in these provinces. Security authorities can detain suspects without charge, censor the media, conduct searches and seize documents. Martial law is also in place in the Chana and Thepha districts of Songkhla province.
If you are considering travel to, or through, the far southern provinces of Thailand, you should seriously reflect on whether or not your journey is absolutely necessary. If you do decide to go ahead with your trip you are advised to regularly review your own and your family’s security arrangements.
I hope I'll be ok.