Yet each man kills the thing he loves ...

There was a lot of tension in the car as we drove back to Denver, on that last night I am sure that some of us, me included, knew that we would never return to Colorado again. I flew out of Denver and flipped off the Rockies, I will never be there again. I was honoured to have been Ann's maid of honour. I was chuffed to be invited on the friendlymoon, but sometimes it's time to move on and up. We can't move sideways forever.

I'm in Toronto now. I felt like a damaged wounded puppy when i got here, there is only so much hurt that one can take. I lay in bed and watched TV. I didn't eat for four days. I was glad that my cheek bone was bruised because it is a phyisical manifestation of the hurt i feel inside.

But anyway, despite what i thought, Toronto is lovely. It's a quaint lovely city. It reminds me a little of San Francisco. I did a lot of sight seeing, I went up to the top of the CN tower, and walked on the glass floor. For me that was a big achievement. Being so scared of heights and all as I am. I walked around,I saw some lovley churches, it's an interesting diverse city, the people are polite and friendly.

I met one of my cousins for the first time. It was so whacky because she looks like me, gestures like me and talks like me. She has problems with virtigo, she is left handed, we have so many similarities it was uncanny. Her little boy called me Aunty Una, I smiled and told me I would tell him all about Cambodia so long as he never called me Aunty again.

My friend Pam is coming up from Montreal today. I can't wait to meet her. We are going to have a good time and put the madness of the past week behind us. But at least at last I am sleeping properly. That's a good thing. And the bruise on my cheek has gone down, that's also a good thing.